Typical Pittsburgh
After yet another disappointing visit to a local Mexican restaurant (more on that later), wifey and I have come to several conclusions:
- Pittsburgh does not have a rich Mexican heritage, nor does it have a down-and-out, in the dirt Mexican heritage.
- You can, however, get pizza and pierogies on any street corner in the city. This is not necessarily a good thing.
- As a rule, when trying something new in Pittsburgh, set your sights low. Then be prepared for the shock when things turn out worse than you expected.
This last point seems to be a pretty cut-and-dried rule of thumb for living here. Be assured that if the Chamber of Commerce ever holds a contest for a new city slogan, ours will be the first one in the office:
“Pittsburgh. Prepared to be underwhelmed.”
Perhaps I’m being a little too harsh on the city. Instead, I wish to focus on the restaurant that let us down tonight. Future Googlers take note, José and Tony’s is a bad place to eat. Let me repeat that for those who may search without the accented “e”: Jose and Tony’s is a bad, nay, horrible place to eat.
I said as much in the napkin-length letter I left on the table. And if I wasn’t so Midwest passive-aggressive, I would have marched right up to the counter boy with the cell phone plastered to his ear and told him so. But I know it’s hardly his fault. Nor do I blame our cook, even though we watched him take our plates (paper, of course) out of the microwave and put them back in three times. It’s just the way things are here, and we’re learning that there’s not a lot that one can do about it, except leave, which is looking more attractive all of the time.
We should have just walked out the instant that we walked in and smelled the stale cigarette smoke and saw the menu, complete with hot dogs and pizza. We should have left after tasting the vegetable soup that they called salsa. But we thought we’d give it a chance. We thought, “Hey, after three bad places, this one has to be good. Things can’t suck forever, can they?”
Yes they can. Oh yes they can.
