A polite rejection

To: Trib P.M. Circulation Department
Re: Your paper

Dear Trib P.M. -

I request that you stop delivery of your free evening “newspaper” to my residence at 517 Summerlea Street. Continued printing and delivery of the paper is a terrible waste of resources, for I do not own a bird and have no need for cage liner. Also, you’re probably in violation of the city code, section 601.11(a), but I’m not a lawyer, so we’ll let that slide for now.

Additionally, I do not believe the garages across the street from me are interested in receiving it either. The only thing I have ever seen them open is their doors.

Jeb in ‘08!

Jake Krohn
Pittsburgh

Update: Victory, I think.

To: Jake Krohn
From: Pittsburgh Tribune-Review Customer Service

I do apologize for any inconvenience we may have caused. I have given your address to the correct person and have requested that the delivery at your residence cease.

I may also just end up with a broken window. We’ll see.

May 23 2006